The End

Dear,

The last time we saw each other it was a yelling match. Looking back I could see how much you cared. The fact you spent your time arguing with me really did show you cared about us. Yes, that’s an odd thing to say, but that’s truly how I think about it. Even though in the moment I didn’t think you cared about me at all. I felt like you just wanted to play games with me which is also true. After all the arguing we looked into each other’s eyes and you didn’t even bother to move either. In that minute or two I saw a light in you. I felt like there was something there still that you would never bother to admit. Maybe I was wrong because what you said after was that you didn’t feel anything and that this was the last time you would see me.  So I hugged you and let you go….

It’s those types of memories that keep coming back to haunt me. The one’s where you let me go and leave for good. You laughed when I  was vulnerable to you. I wrote you a letter and you just laughed at me. How could you? I was being real with you. I was such a fool for loving you with all my heart. Maybe I just wasn’t enough for you. But you know what I tried my best. I tried my best to mend things. I tried my best to love you. I tried my best to love the most annoying parts of you. I tried my best to love you. But I guess in reality my everything to you was just laughable. I have relived every frozen moment like this and you know what it turned out for the best. You can’t keep  my mind, body and soul in a dark forbidden prison. I will always free myself from this type of pain. It may have taken some time, but I realized being in that type of prison is not who I am.

Yes, I did think you were my light to my darkness. You did spark a light in my heart.  It gave me a purpose and reason to love the world again. I also believe we crossed paths  for a reason. You showed me that there is a deeper meaning to my soul. You showed me how to be stronger. You showed me how much I have grown. You showed me what I deserved in a partner. I also figured out  myself that sometimes giving is better than getting. Sometimes giving all your love doesn’t mean you will receive the same type of love in return. Sometimes it’s better to walk away from those who walk away from you…..

So as you laugh at my thoughts remember I have grown stronger and will keep growing stronger in time.